(You might want to stop reading now. This is just going to get worse.)
Know what else is only going to get worse? Winter. This is just the beginning, people. This is still fall. What's coming is months and months and months of much much worse. And if you can't like it, if you can't try to love it, in fact (in the way you might love a little sibling you're not sure you really wanted) I think you'd better move. Because this is it.This is just something you're going to have to accept. It's an inalienable thing. It's time to embrace the winter. To revert to smart seasonal dressing. (Think snowsuits. Think balaclavas.) To take advantage of the toboggan. To look up and out instead of in and down.
I didn't always love the winter. It crept up on me, this feeling. But it's here now and I'm in it. All the best things happen in winter, I've decided. All the most delicious moments and most memorable memories. And the snow! The snow, guys! Everyone complains and complains about it, but snow is actually amazing. I mean juvenile poets have been using it as a primary image for ... I dunno, centuries? Those sort of cliches happen for a reason.
In the winter, Toronto is a city transformed. And when it's snowing, it generally isn't so cold. Really. Put on galoshes and go for a walk. You'll see what I mean. I'm not being naive here. I know it isn't always going to be easy, this loving the winter thing. That's not how love works. It's going to be really hard sometimes. It's going to feel like it's always winter, never Christmas. Valentine's Day is going to roll around and break your fragile, February heart. It's going to wear you down. But you should stick with it, this hard and heavy love. It's going to make you so much happier, I promise. I know these things. I'm wise. I'm wise nearly in keeping with my years.
I am Lorelai Gilmore. I am Bumbles. I am Jane Frost.
If you're cold, you can slip your hands inside my pockets. If you need to.
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If that's not comedy, I don't know what is.