I have. It started about a week ago. On Monday. And it’s lasting, man. It’s hanging on.
Shocking, I know.
After the last week of February, which was a bit of a downer, and the self-indulgently depressive weekend that followed, I wasn’t looking particularly forward to last Monday, and then it arrived, and ever since then everything’s just been… good, you know? Light.
It’s so funny when things like this become clear. I spent most of January and February going back and forth about something, agonizing, trying to decide what to do, waking up tense and stressed day after day after day, and all the time knowing, sort of fundamentally, what I NEEDED to do, but not wanting to or not being able to. And then I just did it and all was well.
Why didn’t I get here sooner? I guess that’s hindsight. You never know in advance how things are going to turn out. And you just get around to things when you’re ready, and not a moment before.
It’s Monday again now. We’ve switched the clocks. Today is crazy sunny. Blinding, really. After the deep, devastating snow of the weekend, it’s a bit disconcerting, but I like it all the same. The juxtaposition. Everything is happening, right?
It’s time for me to start thinking seriously about going back to work. My program is less than a few months from completion, and even though I have a huge number of essays to write and assignments to complete (and even though I’m no longer remotely motivated) I can see the end clearly. I expect to finish strong. But then what? Back to writing? If you read this silly blah-og with any regularity, you might have noticed that I’m not all that great a writer. I think I’m a good editor. That’s something I feel pretty confident about. Even if my own prose is shit half the time, show me yours and I’ll be able to tell you exactly what’s wrong with it. I seem to be able to see what you were thinking as you went along. I have that skill. Maybe because my own prose is so bad and I know what I’m so often thinking??? I don’t know.
I’m ridiculous happy right now. And I have more to write, but I think I’ll save it for the moment. We’ve got time.