Never, and because.
I have no plans to make the site interactive, and I don’t allow comments because I don’t. It’s my site and I don’t want to. I don’t feel like it. In other words: just because.
Most of the people who come by on a regular basis are people I know (and yes, you sneaky lurkers, I know exactly who you are too… more on that later). My point is that those people are free to comment on the site at any time. To me. If I want to publish their comments, I will. If I don’t, I won’t. ‘Cause it’s my site. I own it. And I’ll censor your chatty ass if I want to.
The true truth is also that I just don’t like most online commentators. They’re so often full of themselves. Or they’re trolls. And they comment in relative anonymity, which seems to inspire them to say things that are truly awful and shockingly offensive to people they know they’ll never have to face. I don’t want to support that culture of cowardice.
So, that’s the whole story of the comment section.
Now, I mentioned lurkers. They have also been on my mind lately. You see, I have lots of lovely web stats programs, and I use them on a regular basis. And in case you were wondering, what that means is that I know who you are. That’s right. I can see you. I know when and how often you check in, and where you’re coming from. I know the names of your computers. And it doesn’t take a lot of detective work to put faces to those names.
So okay, I’m exaggerating. If you’re labouring under an IP that features letters, numbers, and punctuation in no discernable order, you’re pretty safe. (In other words, most of you are pretty safe.) But if you say, work at a big institution or organization and you are say, checking in from work… well then, I can see you. I know exactly who you are, too. And I just wanted to let you know that I know you’re here. So there.
Okay, okay. Enough with the juvenilia.
Let’s make a list.
Things I’m Well Aware I Do:
(so in case you’ve been burning to set me straight in the non-existent comments section, you can relax and shut it)
* split infinitives
* dangle participles
* make typos
* miss apostrophes
* make up words
* leave sentences incomplete
* start new paragraphs at random
* overuse all of the following words and phrases: so, anyway, the truth is, the bottom
line, in the end, that said, etc.
* even, occasionally, mix up their/they’re/there and it’s/its
Yep. I do all of these evil evil things. Mostly in haste, and not in out and out ignorance, but I still do them. Particularly in the blog. And I know for a fact that there are people who feel a little wriggle of pleasure in their bellies every time they see me make these mistakes. To those people, I say this: Good for you. You are smart. Then again, I get paid by the word, regardless of how I spell it. Oh, and I type over 90 words a minute. So… poo poo to you.
In the words of Jack Handy:
On the other hand… you have different fingers.