A lot of things are like that, I guess.
My last week or so in Toronto has been interesting. In my last post, I complained about New Year’s Eve. (I was worried it was going to suck.) It didn’t. In fact, it was pretty fun and I’m glad I went out instead of sleeping through everything like I did the last three years.
This whole trip has gone that way, actually. Things I thought weren’t going to be fun ended up going well, I enjoyed seeing people I thought I didn’t want to see, and I just had a relatively good time overall ... mostly at events that I thought were going to make me want to poke my eyes out with pointy sticks soaked in gin.
Take last night, for example. (Forgive me, because as a general rule, I don’t like to post about my nights out. Enough blogs do that already, and frankly, I’m not cool and I don’t know how to pretend that I am, so posting honestly about what I do on the weekends usually feels like a bad idea, but I’m making an exception here.)
Basically, I was supposed to meet up with a guy I went on exchange with during my last year of undergrad in 2001. And I was anxious about it. Because, you know, a lot can happen in five years. And as much as I liked the people I knew then, I haven’t kept in touch with most of them, and trying to rekindle friendships like that can be so awkward. My anxiety was heightened a little when I found out that a bunch of other people from my exchange were also in Toronto and were going to be meeting up, and the guy I was meeting suggested we join the larger group.
I’m a dork I know, but I just wasn’t sure about it.
But I was being super dumb because it turned out fine. In fact, I was totally wrong. It was great. It was random, but it was great. More importantly, it was fun.
There are so many things we talk ourselves out of. I talk myself out of going out all the time because I hate hassles. I figure hassles find me enough already and I don’t want to do anything extra to invite them in. So, if I’m unsure about whether something will be fun, I often just won’t do it. And maybe that's silly of me, because as evidenced above, I’m probably wrong about a good majority of, if not all of the things I’m worried about.
This is something I need to remember.
Last night I felt like I was remembering something from a long time ago. Something about relaxing and having fun. Even though I didn’t feel like going out in the first place, I did, and the whole night – from playing Wii with Patty and Andrew to pints with the castle kids later on – was just casual, relaxed, fun and funny.
It seems like a good sign for 2007.
Sarah wrote something in her blog the other day about how all in all, 2006 was a fairly disappointing year. And that’s probably true. It’s certainly true for her, and maybe it was somewhat true for me too. A lot of good stuff happened, sure. AGENCY got off the ground, I had some success with the creative writing stuff, and work was good, though I didn’t make much money. But a lot of crappy stuff happened too. Stupid old-school boy stuff, and stupid distracting people-conflict stuff dominated the beginning of 2006. And even though work went well, it was a little tainted because I don’t think I realized how long it would really take me to recover from the whole Do… ... … actually, let’s not talk about that. That was last year.
This year, however. This year is going to be good.
ANYWAY. This post is so effing emo, isn’t it? Yuck. But at least I’m embracing the medium. I promise I’ll go back to the trite, superficial and professional tomorrow.