It's just a cold and I know I may be overstating it, but it's been really depressing.
Several days ago, I lost my sense of smell (and consequently, taste), which was fine at first. It was sort of nice not to have to smell anything. Every breath was a pleasure, regardless of when I'd last managed to shower.
The novelty's kind of worn off now, though. Not being able to smell anything has started to freak me out.
It's my own fault. I did a dumb thing -- one of the dumbest things -- and Googled my no-smell symptoms and the very first thing I found was an article about a lady who had a cold, lost her sense of smell/taste, and IT NEVER CAME BACK.
Never. Never ever! It's ages later -- years and years -- and she still can't smell a damn thing.
This. Is. Terrifying.
Several years ago, when I was busy recovering from a bit fat emotional trauma and trying to learn how to "date," I went on a couple with a guy who had no sense of smell. Born that way. Other than wanting to go for sushi (because of the texture) he acted like it was a minor thing. He told a bunch of funny stories about what that meant in terms of his day to day life, and about how he rated food as a consequence, and blah blah blah. He was a nice guy, but I didn't think that much about it. In retrospect, I've come to realize that I'm a terrible person, because don't think I sympathized at all, and the fact of the matter is this: not being able to smell/taste stuff is awful. It's really awful!
Everything tastes the same. It tastes like nothing. Like mush. Like mush, sitting in your mouth, waiting to slide down your throat into your stomach and through your intestines and then out the back door. Ice cream? Tastes just like hamburger. Chocolate bar? Tastes exactly like spinach. Different texture, same taste. Essentially. I can tell when something is salty or sour, and a very sweet thing tastes a bit different from a not-sweet thing, but just a bit. EVERYTHING TASTES THE SAME! God, it's depressing.
Now, because of my (ahem) little problem, I'm kind of supposed to eat all the time. (Well, not really ALL the time, but a lot. Like, as often and as much as a regular person. Having been a weirdo about food before, it just feels like all the time.) I'm not supposed to skip meals, I'm not supposed to "forget" to eat while I'm working. I'm supposed to eat. Regularly. Heartily. And right now, everything tastes like cardboard mush.
During the first couple of days of not being able to taste anything, I tried to compensate by ordering my favourite little bits of take-out food and stocking up on junk. (I'm SUPPOSED to eat junk food. I'm supposed to eat it when I want it and then not freak out about it afterwards. You know, like a normal person.) It didn't work. At first, I ate the junk because I didn't want to waste any of my favourites, but really, I've come to think that when it all tastes the same, THERE IS NO POINT.
So whatever. I can't taste anything for now. It'll be fine.
Except, I'm really worried that it's going to be like this forever.
This is the kind of loon I am.
My sense of smell is going to come back, right? Like, in a few days? Please oh please cross your fingers. I know I'm already a really lucky person and that I probably deserve more crap than I get, but send me a little good luck anyway.
And try not to judge me. I know I'm ridiculous and I judge myself pretty harshly already.