I’m really, really, overwhelmingly, confusingly, soul-crushingly exhausted.
This is the result of a combination of things, not the least of which being that I made a resolution at the end of last year to ‘say yes to everything’. It was a great idea in theory, and initially a great idea in practice, but I feel like it’s starting to catch up with me.
Actually, scratch that. It’s already caught up with me. It’s passed me. It’s lapped me twice. It’s kicking my ass.
I’ve also had houseguests for the past two and a half weeks and work is busy and nerve wracking and I am going to be on MTV again tomorrow night (The After Show, MTV Canada, 7:30 and 11:30 pm, FYI) and I still don’t know what I’m to wear. And (and this part is just me complaining and having a little pity party, and I don’t really mean it, but…) it feels like everyone wants something from me. They want something, but they’re not necessarily giving anything. And I may be making a lot of bad decisions. And my knee has been hurting for over a month now and though it’s been a bit better since I stopped playing softball three nights a week, it’s not better enough to actually make me happy to not be playing softball three nights a week. ☹
Like I said, I’m tired.
Beams started circulating at CERN today, in the Large Hadron Collider (the world’s largest particle accelerator) which is something I feel I’d like to blog about. It smells like a good metaphor. I don’t really know much (or, okay, ANYTHING) about particle physics or the LHC, but I know it has something to do with the origin of mass, and with dark matter and dark energy and big bang cosmology, and all of that seems like really good material. I just don’t think I have it in me at the moment to write about it. Ironically, the bottom line – which is that dark matter and dark energy are things nobody really understands (hence the “dark”) but which account for nearly all the mass in the universe – makes for the best and most basic metaphor, anyway.
I mean, there’s all this … STUFF, right? And we can’t see it, and we don’t get it, but if we send the stuff we CAN see rushing around in circles fast enough and long enough there will eventually be some sort of collision and that will help us figure it all out.
That works, doesn’t it?
I can’t even tell. I’m too tired to think about it.
Don’t mind me. I’ll be okay.