When I was growing up, I had a secret fetish for all things new age. I think it started with a book I read – Chloris and the Freaks by Kin Platt. The main character was also named Jenny, and like me, was a Cancer, a water sign. She was interested in astrology and I learned the basics of the star signs from reading and rereading that book. I don’t know why I loved it so much. That Jenny and I had almost nothing in common. She lived in California, in a different decade. Her parents were divorced. Her father had committed suicide. Her stepfather was a Mexican man her sister hated – an artist. He made huge sculptures.

Anyway, I harboured my little new-agey thing for awhile. I went on a driving trip to Smith Falls with a friend’s family and bought a crystal that I hung in my window, ostensibly to catch the light and throw rainbows around, but at night, I’d take it down and wear it around my neck. I wanted a dream catcher.

Next I got into tarot. I wanted to learn how to read the cards. There were people at school who could, but I was afraid to ask about it. Then this episode of My So Called Life aired (and featured tarot heavily) and I became briefly obsessed. I got my hands on a set and ruined it by pasting certain cards into my journal – five of cups, nine of swords. I still don’t know what they mean.

My high school boyfriend eventually bought me a dream catcher. A nice one. I had it up in my room for a couple of years and even took it with me to University. I forgot it when I moved out of the dorms. I like to think it's still there. In Brockington House. Thumb tacked to the ceiling. I haven't had anything like it since.

I don’t know what I liked about all that stuff, but it seemed really important at the time.

Sorry for the lame post. I thought I’d been long enough since the last one, but I didn’t really have much to say. The girls are coming over soon for a night of The Hills and 90210 reruns, so there’s much to look forward to.

The future, in other words, is friendly.

P.S. Things that are bothering me today include, but are not limited to:
• People who are too stupid/too old and brainwashed by Windows to learn to use their new computers properly. These are the same idiots who then go on to blame mac.
• October Road. For one thing, why is there a period after the title? For another, why is Scott Rosenberg sullying the rep of Beautiful Girls? There’s no need to revisit and ruin.
• Facebook. Firstly, too addictive. Secondly, it's giving manipulative Internet users yet another outlet. People deleting people and then saying they have no idea what happened? Ew.
• Ew. Ew. Ew. (Okay, so this doesn’t deserve a bullet. So what? My blog, my rules!)
Remember that thing my kindergarten teacher wrote about me? The thing about me wanting (demanding!) constant recognition for everything I do? Well, I know I already admitted as much, but I’m gonna say it again. That is SO true. I mean, I suppose I should be embarrassed about it, but I can’t be bothered because it’s just SO true! Mrs. Suriano, you genius, you totally pegged me!

I have news. Big news. Big news I can use, if you know what I mean. And I want to be a big fat braggart about, but I can’t. Must hold back for the time being. Hence the above paragraph, which probably made no sense.

It’s so hard! I really want to get on the brag train and get me some of that recognition I’ve always wanted, you know? Alas. Alas. Alas.

Anyway, since I can’t spill the beans yet, I’ll just update you on what’s happening on the site. There’s new info on the booklog page. (Oh so exciting, I know.) I’ve been blogging a little on BR, following a little hiatus. The March issue of ION has been online for awhile now, though I just edited and didn’t write anything. April is forthcoming.

Speaking of April’s ION, I interviewed a charming artist for that while I was in Toronto. His name is Dave Trautrimas. He was easily one of the nicest, most easygoing people I’ve ever interviewed. Ever. And like me, he loves to bowl. Kindred spirit, baby!

Keep your eyes peeled for the story.

K. Love you like I love butter, but must run.
I’ve been in Toronto for nearly a week. It hasn’t been much fun. For one thing, the weather stinks. It’s cold and yucky almost every day. For another, being in my parents’ house is as stressful as ever.

Today however, in an attempt to create some reasonable semblance of order here, I started cleaning out drawers and came across a couple of funny things. The first was a document featuring the following picture:
Entitled, “I Have Changed This Year” and dated June 23, 1988, it reads:
“This year I have changed. By getting smarter. I started off the year in grade 2 and in January I was prmoted in grade 2 to grade 3. I grue taller too. I was only up to my mothers mouth and now I am up to her nose. I grue to be with god too. I learned to go to church every Sunday and Be happy when ever I went. I have grone a lot sins the beginning of the year. I grue a lot. – Jenny Selk”

The second thing worth mentioning was this drawing:
In addition to featuring a smiling sun, a smiling cloud, and a bunny, happily seated by a long row of growing carrots and saying “that looks verry good m-m-m”, it also features three dead bodies, buried in the ground and bearing the names Peter, Lee Lee and Seter. The caption reads: “The carrot garden for Bunnies. It is also a grav rard.”

I’m sure the connection seemed logical at the time.

The last thing I organized was an envelope full of my old report cards. Most illuminating are the ones from junior kindergarten. In December of 1984, my teacher wrote “Jenny appears to prefer isolated play to group interaction. She is a very sensitive little girl who is still learning to accept constructive criticism in a positive manner.” At the end of the year, in 1985, she wrote, “Jenny continues to demand constant recognition for all which she does. She may be an extremely cheerful little girl, however her moods alter quickly.”

Nothing ever changes here. It’s official.

I’m off to the grav rard to get me some carrots. M-m-m.