We're gross, in other words. We're both pretty gross.
This makes it hard to write. (The flu, not the grossness. You can be gross and write quite well, at least in my experience.) But fever complicates things. Unless you're writing something surrealist, or used to inebriated scribbling, nothing good ever comes out when your brain's all fuzzy.
So with that in mind, here's a post that seemed doable, under the circumstances:
5 Horrible Truths About Having the Flu
- People think you "just have a cold" and that you ought to stop being a whiner.
- If you didn't have a flu shot, you have no one to blame but yourself.
- Damp mattress = not so cozy.
- When you lie in bed for days on end, the room starts smelling funky.
- You are the source of the funky smell. The funk emanates from YOU, my funky, flu-ridden friend.
5 Redeeming Truths About Having the Flu
- If you want to have 6 hot baths a day, if only to lie like an oily log in hot water, without soaping, no one's going to give you a hard time.
- People will wait on you. They will bring tea, soup and other hot beverages. If they're very nice, they will bring wine.
- You can watch daytime television with impunity. Expect to learn much about bridal wear, child abuse, and toddlers who spray tan in tiaras.
- You'll have a whole (generally sweaty and unpleasant, but likely work-free) week at your disposal to read a very long and meandering John Irving novel and if you're not sure you liked it, you don't have to take a position, because you read it whilst sick. You're off the hook.
- You are forgiven for any and all smells you may produce during this trying period. Embrace your funk. You are forgiven.
Flu's aren't all about the downsides, after all. Hope none of you are as sick as we are. And if you are, head for the bath. It always helps.
Talk soon. When I can muster up something a little less boring, I hope.