And after posting, I immediately went to Dollarama, bought some supplies and made a wreath.
It took all of 10 minutes, I swear.
1. Three black-feather boas (Dollarama, $2 each)
2. One plastic wall clock, black (Dollarama, $2 each)
1. To get at the black plastic hoop, just flip the clock over and unscrew the back, as mentioned above.
2. Wrap the black plastic hoop in the feather boa... going around and around. You can secure it to the hoop with hot glue if you like, but I just wrapped and found that the boa stayed in position pretty well on it's own. It took three boas to cover the hoop twice. Tie the ends of the boas together as you go, so there are no gaps.
I personally think the plain black feathers work on their own. They flap in a disturbing fashion when anyone opens our screen door (and it really freaks people out... hee hee.) But if you like, you can decorate your wreath with ribbon or baubles. Just tie them on with black thread or use hot glue.
Here's my finished wreath. Total cost? $8.